(C Day minus 1,3,4 edits, revisions and defence)I have a companion who only has bad things to say. I have so seldom heard anything good, that I am beginning to believe it not possible. This companion, mere intimate decimetres from my sleeping head (often full metres on a bad morning) is the alarm clock: the perpetual bearer of bad news.
Having moved from an East-facing bedroom into a North-facing bedroom I have lost the luxury of being woken up by the rising sun. It was a romantic lifestyle, using the curtain to estimate my morning rise, waking lazily and slowly into full awareness. Not that it didn't have it's problems; a summer morning wake up was also accompanied by the light's BFF, the heat. But for the most part, it was enjoyable and lovely. I have, since the move, had to rely on the obnoxious yelp of that square box of pain (Little House on the Pain-rie?). Every morning that I have to work, my morning starts with bad news: it's time to get up. If I had wanted to get up, if I felt I was ready to get up, I would have done so myself. I am instead jarred out of my slumber by the naive child that believes that the world should rise and fall with their schedule. This isn't even the only reason I dislike my little "friend."
Thesis writing has put me in an odd relationship with time. There is never a good time. I'll get home around 5, and by the time I have wound down and am ready to work, it is 7...already?! Open the documents, track down a citation and reword a sentence...9?!?! Couldn't be! Even if I am productive, time seems unwelcome. I could edit a whole chapter, rework the most troubling of passages, update my bibliography AND have come to a profound conclusion about my thesis or my life, but if only 10 minutes have passed (I said 'could' not 'did') I am still left with the "It's only been 10 minutes?! I should work for another 50 at the very least before I quit for the night!" Is there ever a time that is welcome? Well, maybe 7:30. Time for Jeopardy!
'This is a patent lie' song of the day: Time is On My Side - Rolling Stones
Though if you have seen the movie 'Fallen', it is the serial killer/spirit that sings the song, in that regard, it makes more sense. Just imagine my thesis singing this song. It'll wait me out if I don't beat it first.
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As to the alarm clock: mine is a most amazing invention, the sunrise alarm clock. No jarring, soul-crushing, nagging, awful screaming of the clock, just a pleasant increase of "daylight" in the room, and, if one so chooses, the accompaniment, at the apex of the "sunrise," of a softened, non-abrasive "beep" at a much lower, more pleasing note than the obnoxious classic alarm.
As to the thesis: I know what you mean. How in the hell does 9pm manage to come so quickly each day after work? It's the reason I don't work on Tuesdays...the advantage of having an extended period to do nothing but read and write, without giving up every last instant of my weekend to these tasks...and yet even on Tuesdays the hours seem to slip by at an incomprehensible speed.
Dear time: Please slow down. Thanks. Melly
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