I Joined the Social Sciences to Avoid Math

(Day 60) Firstly, I do not look forward to June, as it will become much more difficult to judge which day it is (since I started my writing). April was easy, date = day (April 1 = Day 1). May hasn't been too bad either, just add 30 to the date. June is mildly more tricky, it will take more than just the split second I have previously been alotting the task. In any event, that is my trouble to worry about.

I started my data analysis today, which was daunting to say the least. I opened up my first document only to be presented with a short paragraph from one of my sites, and the task of finding themes (for the thesis) from its content. This anxiety was soon alleviated with the nearly 60 page document that followed. Needless to say it was much easier to pick out themes from the larger document. One theme that immediately stuck out was instances where either site developers think we (the users) are mentally deficient or people do in fact ask the dumbest questions. I highly doubt the 'F' (Frequently) in the FAQ acronym in many cases.

Something else I learned today: privacy policies are totally bogus. Some sites or programs at least make you agree to the privacy policy before continuing on (not that anyone ever reads them, but it is nice that they pretend that we do). On the sites in my sample however, there is no such request. As I discovered today, I apparently accepted the terms of the policy simply by being on the site. It sort of seems like an old TV gag, where the person of authority rambles quickly on about rights and obligations, ending the 200 words/minute speech with a, "If you agree, say 'huh?'" To which the dupe inevitable replies, "Huh?" negating all of his rights and inheriting many new obligations. Interim thesis conclusion: People are dupes who ask dumb questions, for greater detail see: bad TV sitcoms. But really, who am I to call people dupes or dumb question askers, I am complaining about having to add 61 to the date. That is the type of contradiction that belongs in only one place...academe.

Another slide from the collective imagery of the GWW and the 'if corporate execs read my thesis would they care' song of the day: Don't Get the Music Worried - Tricky Woo

...And in the Dream the Hamburger Was Eating ME!!

(Day 57) Every once and awhile tasks arise that require my attention, away from my thesis...okay, this happens quite often with varying degrees of importance (Star Wars marathon: moderately high to very high importance). I will be presenting the preliminary findings of my thesis at this year's Congress of the Social Sciences and Humanities in Vancouver. Although highly related to thesis writing, this does require quite a bit of attention away from the thesis itself. A paper has to be written and a power-point slide show has to be constructed, courage to speak to other academics has to be mustered - there is lots to do.

Power points are, however, a distinct pleasure for me in the academic process. It is where words and ideas come alive in image form. They say a picture says a thousand words, but I generally use each picture to convey about 250 (that's one double spaced page). Each page of my paper (all of which is lifted out of my thesis) is given a face and character (thus giving my thesis a face also). I like the idea of my thesis having a face (see post here on my enjoyment of title pages - the textual face). It makes it nicer, friendlier, more approachable...more creepy (c'mon, a thesis with a face - that is creepy)? It would definitely make the feeling of my thesis eating me alive a lot scarier.

In any event, here is your song as well as the face of my thesis (Pandora)...

the 'that's what I would say if it had a face too' song of the day: Oh La La - The Faces

Time, It's on My Side, Yes It Is

(Day 55) You can't say that I didn't warn you. I said in the last post that I would be heading up to the cabin. There are however, two things that you may not have known. 1. When I say 'for the long weekend' it doesn't necessarily mean that. Being a grad student, I am not really obligated to even know the day of the week. I am usually lucky to know the month (is it June yet?). In fact, I didn't even leave for the 'long weekend' until Sunday, and I just got back today. Life is grand. 2. When I say 'the cabin', I mean to say that I am going off the grid: no phone, no internet, no communication with the outide world. That would be defeating. To escape time and deadlines only to be enslaved by your temporal restrictions? Nope.

From this week off the grid, I learned two things (more than that really, but only two to share). 1. When someone who is very much 'connected' technologically goes offline, trouble begins. My inbox e-overlfloweth with e-useless e-junk. My voicemail consists of a myriad of voices expressing worry and concern about my whereabouts. I was half expecting to receive junk mail advertisements for milk with my digital image on the side of the e-carton. 2. I have a whole lot more free time when I am offline. Who knew there were so many hours in a day?! This of course totally threw my internal non-calendar for a loop. I didn't even know what day to think it might not be.

Well, I now know it is Sunday, so I think I will just go ahead and take one more day off.

'Life (as a grad student) is grand' song of the day: Permenent Vacation - Aerosmith

*** And a word of congratulations to Mikey for swinging into Med school like the pirate he is. For the next rock star doctor of Canadian Medecine, the song 'Cover of the Rolling Stone' by Dr. Hook***

When It Rains, I Bore

(Day 43) So I have finished a rough draft (read: very rough draft) of my first complete chapter (Chapter 2 oddly enough). What that means is that I get a day off, which suits me quite nicely as today is the first day that it has rained in a while. When the sun takes a break, so do I...at least for as long as it works as a parallel. I imagine myself changing that parallel when I want to go to the beach or just play in the sunshine. Another reason for the break is that the next chapter to be written is likely the Methods section. This will almost certainly be the most boring section to read/write. Even methodologists think their field is boring.

Apparently I do the same things when I am on an official break as when I am unofficially procrastinating from work: clean, tidy and organize. The only difference I suppose would be the acknowledgement of the fact that I will not be working. It is much more powerful to declare that you will not be working, and then to not work, then it would be to aim to work, and then not accomplish anything. It is hard to fail when you are not trying to do anything. Unless I accidentally stumble into my thesis document and write a page, I will be successful today, and as far as failures go, that one isn't bad either.

As for the upcoming long weekend, (May 2-4: a concept foreign to born-in-BCers) it will be filled with extremes of both work and play. When I am working (and yes that will happen) it will be my data analysis, which is essentially the heart of my thesis - super intense, and slightly scary. When I am relaxing, it will be on the beautiful Sunshine Coast with E. (my fave gal) and S. (my eldest bro), soaking in the rays and swimming up a storm (a storm of lethargy and more sunshine). Hopefully extreme relaxation will help conjure up extreme productivity. Regardless, if I fail, I am still on the Sunshine Coast and that can't be bad at all.

'it's almost the long weekend in BC' song of the day: Relax Baby Be Cool: Stereo Total

I Hear She is a Big Fan of the Blog... Of Course She is, She's My Ma

(Day 41) I think grad school is a full-on assault on one's self-esteem, ego and general perception of self. We are pushed to the absolute edge of what we can handle, and that is just in the coursework. It is not all that difficult to write a good graduate paper, but to be able to do so whilst also marking a thousand terrible student papers, reading just shy of a billion pages of thick academic literature and of course writing papers for other courses as well - well that is pretty difficult. After coursework is completed, we become our own dungeon-masters, chaining ourselves to our desks, computers or too-heavy-to-carry stack of books.

How could one's ego not only survive this destructive environment, but flourish? Grad students can have some of the biggest egos globally, and feel like the smartest people alive, but how? We have awesome mothers! Our mother's are the one's who fuel our egos, as I am sure is true for people in other fields, but that isn't what this blog is about. Grad students can live under the ego-fulfilling prophecy (that someone will actually read their thesis), but in truth, there is always one person outside of ourselves, committee members and fantastic peer editors that will read it: our mothers. Even if our mothers are in different fields, they remain our biggest fans. "Hey Mom, what did you think of my quantum astro-physics, molecularly based agro-commentary on the state of the moons of Saturn?" "Well my child, it was the best physics thesis I have read...ever! You are the greatest [enter your field/discipline here] there is!"

So a big thanks to all the mothers, motherly figures, mothering personalities and moms, for perpetually fuelling all of our egos and making us feel like we are the greatest, despite the opposite being true: they are the greatest! Happy Mother's Day

'I hope you knew it was Mother's Day before you read this blog' song of the day: My Mother - The Tiny

The Name Kierkegaard Even Sounds Pretentious

(Day 39) It is inevitable that as a thesis writing grad student that I will land in cafes and pubs to do much of my reading, writing and relaxing. This is both a luxury of the 'job' and one of the things I really loathe. The cafes that I find myself in always have really corny puns for names like "On the Bean" or "In the Espresso Lane", and our grad student lounge does me proud with the uber-pretentious name: IQ Bistro. The similarities between the grad lounge and the cafes is that very characteristic of pretention. I hate overhearing people's suspiciously loud conversations about the subtle differences between Kierkegaard and Proust while they sip on their low-fat, non-whip, extra tall triple double caramel macchiato-chinos with a macadamia nut and a whisper of cinnamon.

Then of course, the ultimate joy comes with the fact that it is usually those very same pretentious characters that become employed at those cafes. So now I have some Rousseau reading, wannabe social do-gooders not only surrounding me but also serving me my drink as well. But when I get that drink, I can't help but notice the coffee cup with skillfully drawn sign that says "karma." With only a hint of irony (listening Alanis?) would a pawn in one of the largest publicized exploiters of South American farmers ask for 'karma' and actually expect money (tips) by that. Oh but don't worry, they carry two fair trade brands of coffee right over there behind the ninety six non-fair trade (read: popular) brands.

Perhaps I should start dictating my thesis aloud when I am in these places. I would probaby feel more like "one of the gang" and out of self-conscious display likely end up using more sophisticated (read: bigger) words in my thesis. At least that way I can attempt at drowning out the discussion from the baristas about how they really relate to the struggling plebeians they once saw while on vacation in the tropical south.

the 'this is what cafes are for' song of the day: Coffee and Conversation - Joni Mitchell

That's Quite the Company You Keep

(Day 37) For many years, I have (for the most part) had long hair of great volume. Being a long haired fellow, one of my worries has been that I would start losing my hair. Not a terrible worry, as I am a former head shaver, so I know that I don't have an awkward shaped head. I think the clean cut look is 'in' anyways, it would be like Nature's way of telling me I need to be cooler.

One of the leading causes of balding (aside from genetics of course) is stress (there could be other 'leading causes' considering that I made up that 'fact'). Being a grad student, constantly under the gun of looming deadlines and sky high standards, I always assumed this was the road I was headed down. I was so expecting to start pulling out tufts of hair that I didn't see the greying coming. I got (read: noticed) a grey hair yesterday! Not just grey, but almost silver, like white-hot, see it from across the room white... in my beard.

Now this is something that I could embrace I think. A white beard?! Yes, please. Put me in the same category as Santa Claus, Gandalf the Wizard, Freud, the Ayatollah, Papa Smurf, even My Supervisor! You know what the common denominator is here? Wisdom and respect. Well maybe not the Ayatollah...and nobody ever said how smart Santa was... and Papa Smurf ain't never got no respect. Okay, correction: the common denominator is the cool beard, and that is enough for me. Maybe I should work even harder, get that stress going, and land myself a beard o' wisdom/respect. I'm taking it back.

Song 'to grow a beard to' of the day: Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
(Fun fact: the last name of the drummer of ZZ Top, is Beard, and he was the only one in the band without one - only a mustache! Didn't I just blow your mind?)

Like Rai-i-ain on Your Wedding Day

(Day 33) It was pointed out to me not too long ago, (and I am ashamed that it is merely my personality and not intentional) that my blog (SGWW) in fact mirrors my thesis (GWW) a lot more closely than I originally thought. Partly as a matter of tradition, partly as a matter of entertainment, I have, as you all know, taken to appending a song to the end of each blog entry (a song of the day). Each song reflects either the mood of the day or in some way encapsulates the essence of the entry. It just so happens (ohh universe...) that the act of recommending music in the new technological era is in fact what my thesis (GWW) is about. Funny how these things work out.

However, there is a stark difference between what I am writing about, and what I am doing here. First, I am not an evil corporation...and anyone that makes a comment about lack of personality is gonna get it. Second, although my music picks are in fact the same for everyone I am not offering them as recommendations, as some of them are in fact terrible songs but do serve the purpose of expressing something beyond this blog (see song of the day today). Finally, I am not making any money off of these recommendations...although I am starting to think that maybe I should be, especially with the bad songs. They can use all the publicity that they can get. And with that, I pass you on to the song of the day, but don't worry, I won't sell out. I will try to use songs that everyone can enjoy...after today.

The 'of couuuuurrrsse' song of the day: Ironic - Alanis Morrissette